Friday, May 6, 2011

Forget it

So I am sitting here trying, for the life of me, to remember my password for logging into the exhibitor profile for the San Mateo County Fair, and it's just not working.

I'm trying to submit last years Day of the Dead work to the special DOD portion of the Fair. Great opportunity to reach a broader crowd. If only I can log in!!

It's not even finidng my email address. Heck, it knows my name, but well...I don't know my password. Cset le vie.

Well, lookie here, long time no see. Yes, I fell by the wayside with blogging on my art and writing and well, to be quite honest, there hasn't been that much going on on either front. I have worked a little bit on my book and have been sketching quite a bit, and even yesterday I finally sat down and started a painting.

As for writing. I think I'm letting my fear of failure and disgust with myself and my work getting in the way of accomplishing my goals. It is VERY HARD not to compare myself to other writers already published and on their 3rd or 4th book. I read the books and wonder, why can't this be me? Why can't I finish my damn book? Why am I making excuses for this?

I was all gun hoe earlier this year, making it a New Year's resolution to finish it by the end of February. Remember that? Well, it's almost the middle of May and I have nothing to show for it except tears and self apathy. My eyes hurt like hell. Strained to the point of momentary blots of blindness.

I guess that's what I get for reading food and fitness blogs all day :)

I should quit while I'm ahead. Quit? Quit writing? Nah. Me? Never. Writing is in blood. I go nuts when I can't write something down whether it be a small quip, a tiny little twinkling of an idea or a complete novel bursting at the seems in my head.

Currently I've been listening to one of my favorite country classic singers, Marty Robbins and he sings beautiful stories. One follows a three part arch. One that I play over and over on my CD player and in my head and never gets old. It has me wanting to plan a trip to the badlands of New Mexico (yay!) and Texas (huh. who wudda thought?) The wild west and tragic love story has taken the place of vampires and angels.

Oooh or perhaps I can have vampires and angels in the badlands. ::furiously scribbles quick idea::

Eep. I have to set it aside to let my baby breathe and grow. I have to get to work on my story. If I don't finish,  than my friend Aisling won't have anything to read while sipping on her glass of Dom Perignon.

I will finish thee oh novel. Even if I bust an eyeball or two to do it.

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