Friday, January 21, 2011

Ok, new blog not going to debut until next Monday. I need to do some more research as to whether I would want it on wordpress or blogspot and I need to get prepared for it.
I am making lists.

Lots of lists. I'm a listaholic and most of my lists disappear in the clutter of lists and papers. If you would look in my purse there would be more papers of lists.

And I would show you my crazy assortment of lists if the darn picture uploader would work . . . .

Which it's not so it's going to disrupt my topic of discussion---oh wait, got it working. 

Well, I pretty much finished this post with out the pictures and went into a whole different area that I wanted to touch upon so I will leave this post up and then do the actual post I wanted to do today next week.

Still with me?

So. Lists.

I make lists to remember things that I need to do, things that I want to do, and things I so need to avoid doing again in the future. And of course there are my food lists, my art supply lists, my lists for writing my weekly schedule which hardly ever goes according to plan, except for one week which was an anomaly in itself.

Last night, hubby and I were sitting on the couch and I had a sudden thought, pertaining to the story line of the novel I am currently writing, hit me. I had my pad of paper--

(I have thousands of pads of paper and post its because I may need to write things down at any given moment, so our apartment, my car and my desk is littered with paper [not very green of me, I know, I will try to be better] and one year Eric gave me a HUGE stack of post its for Christmas. They didn't survive half the following year. And for my bridal shower, my friend Maria gave us a huge stack of various size notepaper, which I use everyday....and I am getting away from my orginal story as I usually do....eeep!)

--but had no pen to write my thoughts down so I asked my Eric to give me a pen from the table next to him. Shocking. I generally wear pens, pencils, paintbrushes and other seemingly sharp and dangerous objects in my hair because it's easily accessible (don't look at me like that I know some of you do it to) which drives my husband nuts because there hardly goes a week when he doesn't get stabbed by something in my hair. I think that's why he generally likes my hair down. I can't conceal any weapons in it if it's down. Huh. I'm like Marge Simpson. haha.

Anyways, back to the story.

I asked for the pen, he teased me a little with the pen. I was like a cat trying to snatch a laser light out of the air.

 *not my cat

Finally he relented and I got to write down my notes. Which was promptly added to the pile of papers tucked into my purse.  Thankfully I managed to find it from the blackhole that is my handbag and am trying to squeeze in some more novel writing in between actual money making work.

Which has been going pretty well this week. I managed to finish a chapter and am veering in a slightly different direction than which I started, oh, about over ten freaking years ago!

Yes, I've been working on these characters and this basic story for over ten years. I'm a brat, I know. But I think I finally found the format that I would like to present it in. And, it seems to be going well, even though the other day I sat down and read some pages from a book that held the original writing format that I had used when I first wrote the story.

Enter the internal battle that constantly rages. Part of me was like, 'look! why didn't you just stick with it that way! it's working out just fine for them!' and the other part says 'you're almost done writing it in the new style, why try to change it, AGAIN?'

I'll finish writing it. I'll send it to someone who gives a damn and see what they say.

Anyways, I must be off. Lunch is waiting and my characters are calling for me.

Hot tea. Yay!

Now back to work work and working on my novel.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Goals for 2011


The New Year's Goals entry that you have been waiting with baited breath for. :) Could you hardly stand the wait?

Neither could I.

Maybe some of you passed out already.

Well, let me divulge to you my goals for 2011. Some of them are to make dreams come true. Mine, of course, and helping do the same for others. Others are going to be done in a different spectrum.

Since this is my writing and painting blog, I'm going to do my best to keep my entries in the general area of my works and others to highlight along the way this year. I feel that if I publicly declare these goals, then it will force me to stand by them and complete them to the best of my abilities.

They will get done.

Goal #1: Finish writing story and star on the others!

 Okay, this is a long time coming. I've put it off. I lost the way. I fought my way through dark times and forgot about in happy times. And other moments, I simply did not have the time to work.

But those are all bullshit excuses.

You have to make time to get things done. Whether it be canceling on a few movie nights or cutting your workouts short or even locking yourself in your office hiding from your husband and cats, it will get done. You meaning me. I'm talking to myself here as much as I am talking to you, dear readers.

The original grand plan when I was scheming this up late last 2010, was to complete the book by the end of January.  Seeing how I had to steal a horse and race to catch up and jump back on the wagon within this past 2 weeks of the month alone, the goal is now to finish it by the end of February.

I will also start working on the other stories to follow the first book. At least one more book written before the end of 2011.

Which hopefully will lead into . . . .

Goal #2: Get my book published this year.

Pretty much self explanatory.

This goal has been my dream since I could pick up a pencil and write down the crazy things I saw, and not just in my head, to tell a story. This will be the year it gets done. It has to be. 

Goal #3: Create a professional website.

Again, self explanatory. This is a very important goal because if I want to make it as an artist, in this day and age, I need a web page. I need a site that will tell the prices for commissioned pieces like animal portraits. It will show people around the world what I do. It will give a place to any future fan of my books or art to come and just get more info on whatever piece or story they like.

A website is important. Plain and simple.

As they said in the movie, A Field of Dreams (goddess I love that movie), "If you build it, they will come."  Actually, the move said he will come, but America heard they, yet I digress.

Goal #5: Participate in more art shows.

Do you really need an explanation on this one? No? Well, I'll give one to you anyways.

I am honestly quite thankful for all the help my friends and family have given me in getting into art shows.
I never would have put so much effort or even remotely started to believe in myself and my work if it wasn't for their help and support.

To honor them, I would like to get into at least two shows all on my very own. That I seek them out on my own. That I contact people on my own.

I think it will be good for me. Instead of waiting for something to fall into my lap or fall ass backwards into a show, I have to make the initiative and look for shows I can participate it.

But if any one just so happens to tell me about a show I can work in, well, I surely am not going to turn it down. :) And of course I will do the same for them. As artists and friends, we have to help each other succeed. That's all that we really can do.

Goal #6: At least one show in a gallery in a big city in CA.

I had two separate goals, one to show in San Francisco and the other to show in other local cities in CA. If I could go national, that would be bad ass. International and I would die happy. But I am getting head of myself.

The main goal is to show in an actual gallery in SF, SJ, LA, SD, Sac City etc.

Just before I graduated from UCSD in 2006, I had several works shown at a small gallery off the beaten path in down town San Diego. Granted, I had been selected amongst other extremely talented graduating students to show and we had a great show called ...SHIFT.

I want to do that again.

Goal #7: Read more.

There was a time I would go through 2-4 books a month. Small, large, thick, thin, hardcover (get your mind out of the gutter people) and paperback.

I would read read read until the cows came home, and since we don't have cows, I read a lot for long periods of time. I would go to bed and pass out while reading. Granted, that is not a goal of mine to do now, but I need to read more.

If not only to get my creative juice flowing, but to just escape from the everyday world. We need the occasional, sane, escape.

And it's not just going to be my vampire, witches, sci fi fantasy novels that I love, but also other books that will help enlighten me, educate me, help me grow as a person. Not including cookbooks but not limitied to books, but blogs as well, blogs pertaining to furthering the growth of my mind and soul.

I want to continue learning about my heritage. A book is good for learning about Aztec and Native American myths and legends. I need to learn how to get into the art and writing worlds. Books can teach you that and offer some advice.

My aunt had a lot of books about the subject, and after she passed away, my mother gave me some of those books. I've been too afraid and ashamed to open them. But not anymore. Time to read.

And read I will.

Goal #8: More blog entries.

Yes, folks, you heard it first, right here, well technically second since I voiced this goal to my husband last weekend on the couch.

Anyways, look forward to seeing more entries of writing and art, at least 2 times a week. Goal is to make it up the 3 and depending how burnt out I get on all the writing and painting and blogging... we'll see if I will crank it up any more. :)

But there will be more blog entries coming up soon, but in regards to this one. Very soon, another blog will burst forth from my head like Athena and pop up in the web already choked with thousands of blogs about food, fitness and healthy living.

So yes, I am a sheep following the mass of people wanting to document their lifestyle change and their quest for peace with their bodies while offering up scrumptious and possibly disastrous attempts at recipes to readers, making them hunger for more or be terrified to turn on their stove tops.

Look forward to an entry about the new blog and the address as soon as I create it.

Well, that seems to be it for the goals of 2011 for writing and art.

I have a whole list of ideas of what I want to write for this blog as well as my new one (coming soon!!). So check back this week, because if there isn't a new blog posted, then I'd already be failing at goal #8.

Until next time . . .

Friday, January 14, 2011

Empty Really


I promised to list my new year's goals this week.

It has yet to happen. Disappointing, I know. I apologize. Thus far I am barely squeaking by with one of the goals, well, maybe two. We'll see how it goes into the weekend.

Anyways, I do promise you, dear readers, if I do have any, that there will be a post on Monday about the new year's goals. Starting the third week. Insane, isn't it? Almost 3 weeks into 2011. Time sure flies when you need it to slow down and drags on beyond belief when you want it to speed up.

I swear the clock was ticking backwards the other day, but that just have been due to the giant icky spider that I found in it.

But the good news for the lack goal posting is because I've been busy at work and I've also been busy writing. Granted it's only two new pages, but the creative juices are stirring not only for writing and art but for some other possible projects as well and it's been fun trying to get them all onto paper and computer. Frustrating at times, but fun.

I will get into those the next post.

Let's just say, I believe this year will be a big year for me.

A girl can dream.

Until Monday peeps!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


I will write about new years resolutions pertaining to writing and art in the next entry. Today I would just like to address the day.

Two years ago, my beloved aunt Charlie (Carlotta) passed away.

She was a big inspiration for me. She was strong, smart, sassy, and above all wise and caring. She had a crafty side, painting, trying to knit and an amazing seamstress. That woman could create clothes and costumes like no other. Her creativity was magical. Her smile, infectious. And her laugh could only belong to her.

She was also a writer.

She wrote for The Californian for many years, with a small column about life. Sometimes it was about the family, other times it was what was happening in the world, political, environmental, and other times it was just much needed words to bring sense back into a senseless world.

Every now and then I flip through the pages of the book of her collected columns. I would laugh. I would cry. I would be enlightened and I would lose myself in her words.

She had a way with words, a skill, no, talent, that I could only hope I can hone.

She taught me many things, was my guide through quite a bit of life's troubles, and was truly my mentor when it came to writing. She had this faith in me, in my work, that helped make me believe in myself.

Today, I'm trying to work on my novel and all I can think about is what she would say. I feel disappointed in myself, for not only letting myself down in taking so long with my writing, but also I feel as if I am letting my aunt down. I don't feel like a failure, just, that I am not where we both though I would be.

But as I type, I can sense a bit of her with me. Even if I am, at this very moment, not writing my story, but this blog entry, I believe she is happy that I am doing some form of writing. And I know, that she is proud of me.

Whether it be painting or writing, I honor her.

Below is a video of the song Aunt Charlie loved.

And here is one of her favorite poems before she passed.

I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white
sails to the morning breeze and starts
for the blue ocean.

She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come
to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says;
"There, she is gone!"

"Gone where?"
Gone from my sight. That is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull
and spar as she was when she left my side
and she is just as able to bear her
load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment when someone
at my side says, "There, she is gone!"
There are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad
"Here she comes!"
And that is dying.”

-Henry Van Dyke


 There is a painting I have been working on since September.  It's not done, but it will be, eventually. It's a painting my Aunt Len smiled at. She told me that I was painting Aunt Charlie, dancing as she used to do, turning into butterflies.  


Not completed painting


It made me smile.  


She inspires me every time I sit down to write. Every time I sit down to paint. I miss her. I love her.  


Hopefully, she'll let me know where she wants this painting to go :)


Thursday, January 6, 2011

New. Year. New Start.

Happy New Year everyone!! 

Hope you all had a safe and fun time ringing in 2011. And I truly hope everyone had a great Christmas. Not surprisingly, I haven't posted since the middle of December, but that is going to change. More on that later.

I had a great New Years Eve. I spent it with my familia and friends in Salinas, playing board games! Yes,  you read correctly, board games. And not just the regular old boardgames one might think of like Scrabble, Monopoly, or Sorry!, but actual gamers board games.

For example, we played Ticket to Ride (image above), both European one and the U.S. one. Eric and I enjoyed the European one more because there are more stops and tunnels! Yes. To put it simply, one draws a card that had a railway linking one city to another. You must fulfill these railways or you lose points at the end of the games. Also, the more trains you put down and the more railways you complete, the more points you gain. It's anybody's game.  There is some strategy involved or luck of the draw, but it's a fun and entertaining game that kept my family busy up until the last minutes of 2010.

It's going to be on my birthday/Christmas list this year!

There were other games like Guillotine, Metropolis, the Game of Life and another game I forgot the name of, but there was certainly no shortage of games, food, alcohol and fun. :) I got to see family from the Long Beach area and family I didn't get to see over the holiday. Funny, how being surrounded by laughter makes one look forward to the new year and slowly shed off the heartaches and pain of previous ones and reflect fondly on all the good of the past year.

Like the family coming together to celebrate my abuela's birthday!

Or we can call 2010 the year of weddings for friends and family!

And *ahem* my marriage to my fabulous hubby Eric.  (Photos by Neil Simmons Photography)

A fantastic road trip honeymoon to Canada which was an awesome adventure of dune buggy rides, zip lining, kayaking and wine tasting!

As well as the birth of a new second cousin Carlos! Named for my dearly departed tia Carolotta aka Charlie. <3  And my friends son Devin.

It was also a year of new steps, where as I started renting a studio space in a scary warehouse and met a lot of fun, inspiring and hell bent on creating art, people who now are new friends who I look forward to seeing at my time in the studio. :) Great shows there too, as what we are now known as the Garden Core.

*note not at studio*

New works of art. 2010 started off with a show at Belle Starr Boutique in Eureka CA.

New works were born during the summer  with animal portraits to show at the Sand City West End Event.

Celebration and a runaway train of crazy painting for the Dias de los Muertos show at Calvary Cemetery.

My friend Josana at her table
To the fun and scary festivities of Halloween with family!

And let us not forget the awesomeness of the San Francisco  Giants winning the World Series.

A lot of fond memories, accomplishments and more stories added to our tales in life this past year. Hard not to look back on it and smile.

And with a new year comes new goals, more determination, more angst and challenges. Case in point, a new years resolution. Which will be spoken about in the next entry. I promise I won't run and hide.

For now. Enjoy the start of the new year!